I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately about the things that will make our life more peaceful, less stressful and more fulfilling. I guess it comes from my reluctant realisation that, at this stage, I am not really up to considering a taking job outside of the home or even studying. I am a renowned overachiever in lots of ways. I have always had high expectations of myself. At school I was taught that I could be anything, and "have it all". Sounds wonderful doesn't it. However the years have shown me that it is not possible to "have it all" - the high flying career, the happy family, the fulfilling marriage, a perfect home.....I tried to do it and let me tell you, something had to give. In my case it was my health. After three years of struggling with my health I think that I have finally let go of my need to prove myself as a super woman.
I have had to be really honest with myself about the things that really matter to me and focus my (limited) energy on those things. The things that matter to me, when all is said and done, are my marriage to Danny and raising our children. My main focus in life has to be those things. This realisation has lead me to the conclusion that my job right now, and for the forseeable future, is to be a "homemaker". I guess it's a more holistic term than "housewife", which implies a sort of trapped domestic servant. A homemaker, on the other hand is someone who takes responsibility for the running of the home, both the domestic duties and the nurturing role.
Now I don't have a history of being particularly organised. No-one has ever labelled me a "Domestic Goddess", but as I said above, I have been considering the things that would make our life more peaceful, less stressful and more fulfilling. I have been greatly inspired by the blog of Michelle Snape, A Vision Splendid. I've taken on board some of Michelle's tips for bringing harmony to the home. Some of the things I've been doing for the last little while include, meal planning, regular grocery shopping from my meal plan, keeping on top of little daily chores so they don't grow into huge jobs. I can't tell you what a difference it has made just having the little things done every day, like beds made, bathrooms wiped over, sink cleared, floor swept, and washing and folding up to date. I know, I know.....my Mum has tried to drill this stuff into me for years (sorry for not recognising your wisdom Mum), but it has taken a "light-bulb" moment from someone out there in blogland (thanks Michelle) for me to realise that all this stuff is still relevant to todays' homemaker.
I've also been following an evening routine to make the mornings less stressful. This includes organising lunches and drinkbottles, putting out our clothes for the next day, pre-packing readers in school bags etc. This has been a huge help in the mornings. I've been getting up a little earlier so that I can have my shower and enjoy quiet cuppa in front of the computer before the kids get up. All these little things have meant a less stressed Mummy, less yelling in the mornings and happier kids! What a pay-off!
The areas I am working on next are working out a new budget to manage our money (which has significantly decreased since I stopped working 10 months ago) and decluttering our home of some of the unnecessary "stuff" we have accumulated. I'm also excited to be planning a vegetable garden so that we can produce some of our own food. Now that we have a water tank, this is finally possible.
So that's where I am at right now. Simplifying our life in order to regain peace, order and fulfillment. So far I feel really empowered and positive about the changes I've made. While I realise that I can't change everything overnight, I need to just chip away at little changes, and in time our lifestyle will have dramatically changed for the better. It has already improved so much.
(Listening to school readers in the evening with my precious boys)
Thanks so much for visiting. See you soon, love Anita. xxx